Negotiation

Yesterday, Paul and I were privileged to experience something that I bet not many Americans get to experience.  Negotiation.  One of our older girls, Promise, is going to get married.  So the negotiations start.  The tradition is a bit different for each tribe in SA but the basics of labola are the same. 

 "A labola is an arranged payment between a groom and the bride's family in exchange for their daughter. The payment may be cash or cattle or what ever valuable the groom has to pay for his bride. Labola is a way for the groom to say 'thanks for raising a good daughter.' "


We met Lizo's parents in Port Elizabeth.  They graciously met us at the airport since we had a plane to catch. Paul and I (and I am sure Danie and Judy) felt relaxed right away.  We were impressed with the kindness, openness, and friendliness of his parents. They patiently described to us what their traditions entail for a marriage but were also very open to hearing our thoughts. Lizo is from a Xhosa tradition and Promise from a Zulu tradition so we needed help in understanding the differences and similarities.  Nowadays, instead of cows, money is exchanged.  The money is then usually used by the bride's family to pay for the engagement party and wedding.  


Lizo will go to his family now and meet with his father and his representatives.  They will make sure that Lizo is ready to accept the responsibility of being a husband.  Then, Lizo will approach Promise's family and the two parties will negotiate a bride price, traditionally 11 cows. (Danie says we start at 20 for Promise :-)   Usually, the groom's uncle or family friend will represent the groom with the father being present but not negotiating.  An engagement party will be held where friends and family bring gifts for the couple.  After that time, the wedding will be held.  

As I said, we felt very privileged to be included.  And we are very excited for Promise!  We feel like this is a good match and the two families already have great respect for the other.  We are not sure when the wedding will take place yet but we are sure that God will be there as we will be petitioning Him to bless them in abundance!